Monday, July 14, 2014

It has been a while.

I took some time off from blogging publicly. I have a spiral notebook that is almost completely filled. I was at a point in my journey where I needed to just be very private. The last couple of months I have been doing some intensive therapy where I have worked on remembering my repressed memories of being molested. It is where you close your eyes, and you say everything that you remember. As time goes on you remember more, and more, each session. I now remember it all, and have "my story". I feel this is a crucial part in my healing process, because now I actually know what all happened and can process it all. One cannot fully cope with something you cannot remember.

I am still not working, or driving. This past week I switched up when I take my meds some, so that I get more help with anxiety in the day. Seems to be helping I just need to adjust to it since the medication I am talking about makes you sleepy.

I am still trucking along. Missing mom today, and wishing I could be with her before she got sick. Sometimes I feel like I am forgetting her. It's been so long since she has "been there", that it is hard to remember what she was like before. Which is troubling, and unnerving. I was thinking about how I learned empathy from her, and that is a quality I really relish and appreciate.

Lots of thoughts.


Maquel